The anti-lifestyle blog

Blogging culture in recent years has exploded, every second person on Instagram reviews makeup or cafes and is doing an elaborate giveaway with an up and coming brand. I am proud of their success and at times, yes, a little envious,  because I too would like to enjoy the fruits of free stuff- I am Indian after all. I have, however, resided myself to the fact, that I will never be able to maintain such a facade. A self-proclaimed hermit studying tirelessly- in between binging new series and not living my best life. My life is too mundane to grace your feeds with that perfectly timed aesthetic coffee shot(You know, the one where you had to rearrange the sugar bowl and ask your friend to move their hand out of the shot). If you want to know my days usually go, well, you are in for a wild, thrilling and utterly boring ride.

7-8 AM- usually get out of bed, scroll through social media for a good few minutes. Breakfast is toast and butter or on the days when I’m watching my chiseled physique- special K, otherwise known as flavoured cardboard.

How to get my look: own a pair or jeans, loose culottes or tights and pair it with a collared shirt(the ones that were in like 3 years ago) or if you are at home- comfy sweats and literally any t-shirt with an ironic/ quirky saying. Sometimes a fangirl shirt- where maybe 5 people compliment you and the rest stare in bemusement.

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On my way to campus: It’s time for me to send my daily scheduled “I hate my life, I’d like this day to end” snapchat(with the latest adorable filter) to my many adoring fans( A.K.A my friends who have no choice but to entertain my whims). Sometimes, I throw in a ridiculous pun or two

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9-12: I try my hardest not to fall asleep in lectures and ask myself at least three times, why I pay half a home loan to have people read slides to me in a monotonous, monotone voice. On days off, I am probably on my fifth episode of the day and or still asleep.

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1-2: Ahh lunch, last night’s leftovers, a cheese sandwich or savouries, Mighty appetizing, totally worth the gram.

Late afternoon: I get home, seek out my cat who runs away from me and has more of a social life and then proceed to nap away my misery.

Evening: the overwhelming existential crisis strikes, I contemplate dropping out of uni and marrying a rich old billionaire or getting off my ass and starting to study for my test or doing the tut I am itching to skip.

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Supper: Depends on my mother’s mood and level of “today I want to outdo all the other mothers and try a new kitchen queen’s recipe” or here have toasted cheese.

The hours before I drift into nothingness: scroll, scroll, hahaha funny meme, sends to/tags friend. More memes, tweet something no one else finds funny or cares about, scroll, scroll, existential crisis part 2 because I read about Trump’s presidency or literally anything in the news, shade someone, scroll, scroll.

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PEACEFUL SLUMBER: dreams of meeting my favourite South Asian actors and or an irrelevant twitter crush.

So there you have it, friends. My hauls include hauling myself out of bed, a review of that person I tried not to make eye contact with and products used: the most important of all and highly coveted: WILL TO LIVE.

Disclaimer: while this is, in fact, how most of my days end up, I love fashion, makeup and trying out cute cafes- I just do it far less often than I would like. 

 

Things I don’t like about my generation

Firstly , I am 15 and not exactly too sure into which category of a generation in which I fall in , but I am starting to think it is possibly the worst generation of all time , and if we’re so downright intolerable , what does that say for the future ?

1. #YOLO #SWAG #SELFIES

If you haven’t seen these hashtags or phrases floating around you’re too old to be reading this , please leave. I am absolutely revolted when I come across such things despite the fact that I am a hypocrite who occasionally takes selfies ( which by the way , the word has been added to the Oxford English Dictionary, talk about degrading). What is SWAG apart from a word used to make teenage boys and girls feel superior or cool? if anyone has a proper definition , please do enlighten me. No dear child screaming YOLO as an excuse to do stupid things , you live everyday , you only die once #YODO.

Set Phasers to LOL: So Start Using the Correct Term - Cheezburger

2.Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus

Two pop sensations who started of as nothing more than innocent kids with a dream of being famous and what do we have today ? a tattooed arrestee and  advocate for provocative dressing and behaviour, who’s influence on teenagers is off the charts( get it?  I am punny , because they’re singers.. pop charts ? no? okay). These are the role models we have to look up to and sadly despite obvious reasons not to look up to them , we have mindless beliebers and what ever miley fans call themselves ( I could not be bothered to check).

Idolss!!

3. shortening of words

Please tell me how hard it is to type ‘because’ instead of ‘cuz’ and please don’t blame twitter for shortening , I manage just fine .

4. snapbacks , nerd glasses , moustaches and short shorts

I’d like to start in the words of Coco Chanel ” fashion fades but style is eternal”, firs up why weren’t nerd glasses cool in the 80’s , instead kids go beat up for wearing them … now kids get beat up if they don’t , oh the irony. I for one cant stand snapbacks , I feel it endorses gansterism and just looks plain stupid or ghetto. I cannot for the life of me understand why moustaches are considered fashionable … you’re either shaving / waxing it off not wearing it on a t-shirt. And lastly for the infamous short shorts , sorry girls but no one wants to see your butt cheeks , cover them up.

can’t you tell how nerdy she is?

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5. we never go out and experience life 

here I am guilty to this offence , my life literally revolves around twitter , tumblr , my blog , wifi , youtubers and food , if I can help it, a sunset is a picture on instagram or weheartit. We live our lives through technology without actually experiencing it , which is pretty detrimental for our health , apart from dying of cancer due to insane amounts of radiation , we’re also destroying our beautiful earth!

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6. Obsessed with beauty

Don’t even get me started on this one , my previous post : beauty is in the eye 0f the beholder , basically sums up my deep infuriating feelings on the matter.

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I think I have done enough ranting for one day , if you do share my sentiments , let me know .. otherwise go on being the pretentious little teenager I know you are.