The anti-lifestyle blog

Blogging culture in recent years has exploded, every second person on Instagram reviews makeup or cafes and is doing an elaborate giveaway with an up and coming brand. I am proud of their success and at times, yes, a little envious,  because I too would like to enjoy the fruits of free stuff- I am Indian after all. I have, however, resided myself to the fact, that I will never be able to maintain such a facade. A self-proclaimed hermit studying tirelessly- in between binging new series and not living my best life. My life is too mundane to grace your feeds with that perfectly timed aesthetic coffee shot(You know, the one where you had to rearrange the sugar bowl and ask your friend to move their hand out of the shot). If you want to know my days usually go, well, you are in for a wild, thrilling and utterly boring ride.

7-8 AM- usually get out of bed, scroll through social media for a good few minutes. Breakfast is toast and butter or on the days when I’m watching my chiseled physique- special K, otherwise known as flavoured cardboard.

How to get my look: own a pair or jeans, loose culottes or tights and pair it with a collared shirt(the ones that were in like 3 years ago) or if you are at home- comfy sweats and literally any t-shirt with an ironic/ quirky saying. Sometimes a fangirl shirt- where maybe 5 people compliment you and the rest stare in bemusement.

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On my way to campus: It’s time for me to send my daily scheduled “I hate my life, I’d like this day to end” snapchat(with the latest adorable filter) to my many adoring fans( A.K.A my friends who have no choice but to entertain my whims). Sometimes, I throw in a ridiculous pun or two

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9-12: I try my hardest not to fall asleep in lectures and ask myself at least three times, why I pay half a home loan to have people read slides to me in a monotonous, monotone voice. On days off, I am probably on my fifth episode of the day and or still asleep.

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1-2: Ahh lunch, last night’s leftovers, a cheese sandwich or savouries, Mighty appetizing, totally worth the gram.

Late afternoon: I get home, seek out my cat who runs away from me and has more of a social life and then proceed to nap away my misery.

Evening: the overwhelming existential crisis strikes, I contemplate dropping out of uni and marrying a rich old billionaire or getting off my ass and starting to study for my test or doing the tut I am itching to skip.

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Supper: Depends on my mother’s mood and level of “today I want to outdo all the other mothers and try a new kitchen queen’s recipe” or here have toasted cheese.

The hours before I drift into nothingness: scroll, scroll, hahaha funny meme, sends to/tags friend. More memes, tweet something no one else finds funny or cares about, scroll, scroll, existential crisis part 2 because I read about Trump’s presidency or literally anything in the news, shade someone, scroll, scroll.

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PEACEFUL SLUMBER: dreams of meeting my favourite South Asian actors and or an irrelevant twitter crush.

So there you have it, friends. My hauls include hauling myself out of bed, a review of that person I tried not to make eye contact with and products used: the most important of all and highly coveted: WILL TO LIVE.

Disclaimer: while this is, in fact, how most of my days end up, I love fashion, makeup and trying out cute cafes- I just do it far less often than I would like. 

 

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“DOBBY IS A FREE ELF” – the different ways to spend the end of High School

As I have mentioned only about 600 times by now , HIGH SCHOOL IS OVER AND BEHIND ME( that is until January 6th when my results are released). Here in the Southern Hemisphere we have normal school years that run from January to December ( we are sadly not privileged enough to have 3 months of summer holiday , be grateful) . Now however due to our extra time and need to just be free and come to terms with being unemployed (yes I used this joke , despite it being in poor taste and out of context) , we seek out ways to spend our days . Here are some of the possible scenarios occurring at this very moment .My data was obtained through twitter polls (which I think were invented purely for advertisers but helps make trusty life decisions) and drawing on my personal knowledge)

PARTYING IT UP AT RAGE

So first up , rage is a sort of party festival type thing that takes place in my home city and was created purely for matrics to let loose among the myriads of alcohol while “dancing” against each other to some form of electro-music . Definitely not my scene and if I did attend my mother would call every hour to check if I was alive , but it seems to appease the masses and I hope it meets their expectations. This also about the closest South African teenagers get to American High school red cup parties (not that I would know)

BINGE WATCHING TV SERIES AND MOVIES

Perhaps others ,but not me have the restraint to not watch series and movies during the exam period and have now built up this massive pile of things to watch. So the ultimate marathon begins , the real test of speed , strength , agility and endurance. My advice is not to burn out too quickly ,pace yourself and stay hydrated because there’s a long journey ahead.

SLEEPING AND EATING

Pretty self explanatory I’d say . The ultimate hibernation for the summer holidays , oh the irony.

GOING OFF ON VACATION

If you’re lucky enough you  get to be whisked off to foreign lands and experience different cultures and you know probably never have a summer romance like in books and movies.

GET A JOB

I truly respect people who work hard to earn their own money and have purpose to their days. Unfortunately , I am unable to join the working folk as no one will employ a 17 year old with no matric certificate.

 

HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS

This is basically what I have been attempting to do in between all the YouTube spirals . Recently I was a hypocrite as after telling people not to burn their notes but rather recycle , we had a mini bonfire where we burnt a few notes (little I promise) and I cannot describe the feeling of pure bliss I experienced while watching trigonometry notes become engulfed by flames. Seeing as there will be a splitting of my little pangea of friends , I want to maximize my time with them.

That’s about all my little mind can muster , I just hope everyone is just letting loose any way they know how and enjoying a semi-stress free environment.

Actual picture from me this holiday