The Types of Group chats

As a self-proclaimed group chat junkie, with roughly 40 graced with my membership, I think I am more than qualified to pen a post on the many types of group chats that plague our text-based society. These nifty social tools have brought some of the best people into my life.

The immediate family group chat

This usually includes mum, dad and your siblings. The daily messages entail random broadcasts, dinner plans, pictures of nieces and nephews and the occasional “put your light off/ PLEASE BRING TAKE-OUT”. Recently, my dad’s new hobby is digging up my childhood pictures and meme-ing me.

The extended family group chat

Here, we branch out to cousins, uncles and the one grandparent who isn’t wifi-challenged. It is a hotbed for hoax messages, subtle brags about your auntie’s son’s nephew who got straight A’s but not into med school because of that darn BEE(ps this is me mocking the Indian entitlement with regards to admission, not agreeing). This also happens to be the home of cringe-inducing memes that should have died on Facebook, in 2009.

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The main friend group chat 

Yes, boys, this where the screenshots of your messages are circulated and picked apart, the dragging goes down and the crying laughing emoji is in great abundance. This chat is the glue to my fragile being.

The campus friend group chat

Common messages include: “are you on campus yet?” , ” you free?”, “shot for the invite to that thing the rest of you attended”

The degree related group chat

You probably hate half the people on this group chat but stay for that one smart and kind person who is willing to shares notes and tips.

  • Anyone got notes for section 2.2.1?
  • Sign the register for me
  • Which venue is the test in?

The high school friend group chat

You may feel bad to leave. It’s perfect to vent about the girl you collectively despised and had an awkward run-in with at the grocery store. The lit-ness also drastically increases during holiday periods.

The one you made for a meet-up and forgot to leave

I really don’t know why I haven’t left this yet

The fandom group chat

Here it is completely okay to share kdrama stills, game of thrones spoilers and BTS gifs. It is a safe haven for unhinged fangirls.

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The three-person group chat

Humans by nature are exclusive beings, sometimes having just three people feels right and people have different interests and levels of tolerance. Statistically, these are the most successful group chats, yes, I made up that statistic.

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The one you made on a whim that no one really one talks on anymore

SELF- EXPLANATORY

The internet friend group chat

This chat keeps my soul alive. Book recommendations and home remedies are shared,  story times fill our nights with spice and we just support each other, no matter the distance.

Group chats have revolutionised social circles and not being in the “one” can have drastic self-esteem ramifications (well, at least for me). For a lazy person such as myself, not having to type out the same message to my all of three friends is perfect, even if no one replies when we try to make plans and all of them are muted. Shoutout to twitter, snapchat and Instagram for also allowing me to send tweets and posts, it really has facilitated conversation in the modern age and lastly, to the addictive “tag urself” memes for having a persona for every member. Long live the inside jokes no one else will get and make sure you send those messages to the right chat.

 

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2017 In A Nutshell

Normally, I’d begin this post with a one-line witty sum up of the year, but 2017 truly cannot be summed up. It was a whirlwind of emotions, with Donald Trump at the helm of the free world, Kardashians falling pregnant, K-pop going global, Robots gaining citizenship and a much-needed end to years of silence. In a personal sphere, it has been a year of immense emotional growth, but this isn’t about me, but rather my love, POP CULTURE. As always, the winners in each category were chosen by yours truly and are well-researched to take into account popularity, but are also heavily biased.

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Song Of The Year: It was so overplayed, that I genuinely feel ill when I hear it. So love it or hate it, you cannot deny that it was everywhere this year. Yes, you sang along while not knowing the words and trying fidget spinner tricks.

Despacito- Lusi Fonsi, Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber

Honorable mention: MANS NOT HOT

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Best Movie: Logan.

Yes, scorn and fury are being flung at me, but I needed the pick to be something I actually watched and enjoyed this year. It was a terribly satisfying end to Hugh Jackman’s reign as Wolverine and more human, ironically than any superhero film I’ve watched.It was an all-around, commercial and critical success that pleased fans, that in its own right is a huge feat.

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Worst Movie: The Emoji Movie.

The concept alone is a deterrent, and that’s all I have to say considering I did not actually watch it. To aid my feelings, a critic humorously described it as “a force of insidious evil”

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Best Animation: Coco

Despite being a moderate rip-off of The Book of Life, the match made in heaven, Disney and Pixar continue to deliver heartwarming and beautifully captivating stories worthy of acclaim. Animation as a whole was disappointing, so I was also forced to slot this in here because it was better than let’s say, Golden Globe-nominated Boss Baby (I don’t get it either)

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Actor Of The Year: Mahershala Ali

Technically both Moonlight and Hidden Figures (2 of his Oscar Nominated films) were released in 2016, but his award-winning streak took off early this year and was so well deserved. Granted his success came later on in his life and acting career, nevertheless he is a beacon of hope, talented and the first Muslim Oscar Winner.

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Actress Of The Year: Zendaya

The spirited 21-year-old is hot off the Disney mill and already landing leading lady roles. Imagine your first movie being Spiderman? To top off her year, she contorted herself in Oscar-baiting The Greatest Showman. Her wits, striking features, unmatched fashion sense and passion and advocacy for Justice makes her truly one to watch in the years to come.

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Scandal: Ronan Farrow let the proverbial cat out of the bag and unleashed a domino chain of events when it came to exposing Hollywood’s sexual assault underbelly. Much like the meme, I was disappointed but not surprised. People I respected and admired were cancelled out, and all I have to offer is my support, thoughts and prayers to the victims, both men and women who have spoken out or chosen to remain silent. You are valid and you are believed. I hope more people gain the courage to come forward and that drastic repercussions are put in place for the perpetrators.

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Viral Sensation: Shooting Stars meme

Don’t ask me why I found floating cutouts of people in space to futuristic music, I just did and so did the rest of the world. If I am honest, I think 2017 might be the beginning of the true meme renaissance, the quality this year was unparalleled.

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While 2017 was not shrouded in the same doom and gloom that made 2016 oh so memorable, it was not a particularly great year for the world either, I am not here to depress, merely offer unnecessary social commentary, we have the news for all the sad stuff.

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My final thoughts (yes, Tammy(Tomi Lahren) inspired) are that I hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas and New Year, may you be as blessed as Asad, avoid following any strange clowns into gutters, salt your meat, don’t forget to have nothing but respect for your presidents and let’s hope the world is much better off in 3017.

Kdramas: A Journey 

WARNING: THEY WILL MAKE YOU CRAVE NOODLES AT ODD HOURS.

If you spend any considerable amount of time on the Internet and consider yourself a Television connoisseur much like myself, then you would have heard of K dramas. A.K.A Korean dramas. What was once a niche fandom, has exploded in recent years, Kpop as well has quite literally(yeah ted mosby is yelling at me for using it in this fashion) taken over the globe. 

I was very skeptical at first, and was blinded by only mainstream white romances given to me on screen and the occasional Bollywood extravaganza. There was a whole world of fluff I let go unnoticed and it truly is a shame that I came this far in life without them. 


While I was on YouTube about a month ago, doing my general browsing and binging, a video recommendation came up. “5 easy k dramas to get into for beginners” and my heart was set. At first the subtitles are bit disconcerting, the bright lights of Seoul attack your senses and so the campy effects and THEY REALLY LOVE SCREAMING. The characters are over the top in every manner, effects almost cartoonish and it just takes time to adjust to the unfamiliar cultural ways. Once you let yourself become immersed, there is no escape.  


Korean men dazzle you with their dewy skin, soft hair and coat + polar neck combos leave you WEAK. Seriously, Koreans are SO insanely fashionable, and it’s really cold it seems so it’s a plus for me in terms of modest clothing ideas. The actions are lively and the romances are sickly sweet but in all the best ways. It’s like cotton candy, you know you shouldn’t devour it, but once your start, you can’t stop yourself.. you might even reach for seconds. 


The first time drama I watched, resulted in me sleeping at 6AM, in pursuit of finishing it. They’re quite nifty and around 16 hours of pure enjoyment, and one season so no nasty cliffhangers but just expected romantic fulfillment. About 6 more dramas down the line, I don’t know who I was before them. I can speak a little Korean and can mimic iconic mannerisms and gestures, my soul is no longer my own but rather in SEOUL(see what I did there?) and a me a stereotypical Apple customer, finds myself attracted to ridiculous Samsungs. I’ve learned about concepts such as “second lead syndrome”, made memes from certain poetic scenes and mostly irritated the hell out of my friends with my constant Kwoes.

I can’t even describe how light and committed I feel when I start a new drama(also not all are good, I will attest to this) but hits all the tingly heart pleasure centers and I radiate positivity, that is when I’m not screaming at my screen when some utterly ridiculous obstacle gets in the way of my OTP(so about every five seconds roughly)

I’d recommend them to anyone who LOVES ROMANCE, sassy characters and who is willing to get to know a different culture with an non judgmental lens and also ready to never have a social life again. They’re progressive and fresh there is one for almost every mood, time period or ridiculous scenario. You might wonder how far back American TV really is and if you’re not too risqué this is as PG as it gets, I assure you and strangely, rather insightful. 

The anti-lifestyle blog

Blogging culture in recent years has exploded, every second person on Instagram reviews makeup or cafes and is doing an elaborate giveaway with an up and coming brand. I am proud of their success and at times, yes, a little envious,  because I too would like to enjoy the fruits of free stuff- I am Indian after all. I have, however, resided myself to the fact, that I will never be able to maintain such a facade. A self-proclaimed hermit studying tirelessly- in between binging new series and not living my best life. My life is too mundane to grace your feeds with that perfectly timed aesthetic coffee shot(You know, the one where you had to rearrange the sugar bowl and ask your friend to move their hand out of the shot). If you want to know my days usually go, well, you are in for a wild, thrilling and utterly boring ride.

7-8 AM- usually get out of bed, scroll through social media for a good few minutes. Breakfast is toast and butter or on the days when I’m watching my chiseled physique- special K, otherwise known as flavoured cardboard.

How to get my look: own a pair or jeans, loose culottes or tights and pair it with a collared shirt(the ones that were in like 3 years ago) or if you are at home- comfy sweats and literally any t-shirt with an ironic/ quirky saying. Sometimes a fangirl shirt- where maybe 5 people compliment you and the rest stare in bemusement.

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On my way to campus: It’s time for me to send my daily scheduled “I hate my life, I’d like this day to end” snapchat(with the latest adorable filter) to my many adoring fans( A.K.A my friends who have no choice but to entertain my whims). Sometimes, I throw in a ridiculous pun or two

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9-12: I try my hardest not to fall asleep in lectures and ask myself at least three times, why I pay half a home loan to have people read slides to me in a monotonous, monotone voice. On days off, I am probably on my fifth episode of the day and or still asleep.

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1-2: Ahh lunch, last night’s leftovers, a cheese sandwich or savouries, Mighty appetizing, totally worth the gram.

Late afternoon: I get home, seek out my cat who runs away from me and has more of a social life and then proceed to nap away my misery.

Evening: the overwhelming existential crisis strikes, I contemplate dropping out of uni and marrying a rich old billionaire or getting off my ass and starting to study for my test or doing the tut I am itching to skip.

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Supper: Depends on my mother’s mood and level of “today I want to outdo all the other mothers and try a new kitchen queen’s recipe” or here have toasted cheese.

The hours before I drift into nothingness: scroll, scroll, hahaha funny meme, sends to/tags friend. More memes, tweet something no one else finds funny or cares about, scroll, scroll, existential crisis part 2 because I read about Trump’s presidency or literally anything in the news, shade someone, scroll, scroll.

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PEACEFUL SLUMBER: dreams of meeting my favourite South Asian actors and or an irrelevant twitter crush.

So there you have it, friends. My hauls include hauling myself out of bed, a review of that person I tried not to make eye contact with and products used: the most important of all and highly coveted: WILL TO LIVE.

Disclaimer: while this is, in fact, how most of my days end up, I love fashion, makeup and trying out cute cafes- I just do it far less often than I would like. 

 

I(2016) would very much like to be excluded from this narrative

I came into this world as the clock struck 12 on January 1st 2016. I was celebrated and embraced, kisses and fireworks marked my entrance and I watched silently as foolish resolutions were made in my name. Amy, Jess, Pri, have you guys reached your goal weight yet? Mark, have you quit smoking? Are all of you going to blame every event ever in the known universe on me?

I am just a regular year, run of the mill, truly and inexplicably ordinary, but it seemed out of all the years, I really drew the short straw. But humankind really is the dramatic sort, I didn’t bring you the plague, any world war or even bring back bootleg jeans(not that they’re on the same level as mass deaths  but you get my point)

Why does nobody remember the good I have bestowed upon your feeble kind, like the fact that world hunger has reached an all time low in 25 years or the that many endangered species experienced rejuvenation and how Beyoncé released Lemonade and had all of you “SHOOK”. Conveniently forgot to remember this? Didn’t bother to read the myriad articles of articles detailing my excellence? Of course not, you were too busy making me your Gregorian scapegoat. I have this urge to sue you all for character defamation , but it would just add to the list of reasons why I am villainized.

Look, let me reason with you, the bad things and yes I do acknowledge the bad things. were far beyond my control. Trump is a bigoted force of nature, The United Kingdom a country of emotionless pasty faces were bound to screw up at some point and well the angel of death certainly had it out for Hollywood.

However, I am the understanding sort and I see your need to allocate blame as a coping mechanism and so have decided to accept all your personal terrible choices, grand catastrophes, slew of deaths and many many twitter trends as my final act of kindness before I cease to exist. My good old friend 2017, who is soon to enter your lives might not be as receptive , no matter how much positivity you seem to throw at it.

In my parting words to you, I urge you to remember be as more than just the worst year ever and have a little sympathy for all the hate that I endured  only to pacify your feelings.Take comfort in knowing that I am at an end but take heed for what might follow.

 

Yours truly,

NOT THE WORST YEAR EVER

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(It is I, the author of this and 2016 IS THE WORST YEAR EVER IT FREAKING SUCKED, BYE)

2016 in a nutshell

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Finally, we have reached the pinnacle end to the traumatic disgrace of a year that is 2016. Honestly, personally and publicly this year has been an absolute suck fest, but I did feel better knowing I was not alone in this. Alas, my yearly round-up is here to summarize a few pop culture tidbits. I have done extensive research and put tons of thought into my choices (this is a lie but you will deal)

Song Of The Year: I usually can never choose just one, so here are two songs that were probably overplayed on the radio and still linger in your head:

Closer- The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey

Black Beatles- Rae Sremmurd ft.Gucci Mane (THAT GIRL IS A REAL ROUND PIZZA)

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Best Movie: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

Call me unjust and biased and I will merely shrug it off, because this movie is the true shining gem of 2016. It captivated audiences and while feeling familiar was breathtakingly new. Newt charmed us with awkwardness and wit, the niffler stole our hearts, Credence demanded our hugs and JK Rowling went to the bank with our money. If you’re sceptical about this one, just give it a try and I hope you won’t be disappointed.

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Worst Movie: Sausage Party 

Great concept I am sure, but traumatic and distasteful nevertheless.

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Best Animation: Zootopia

This movie wins hands down for me, it managed to capture delightful puns, important social messages, adorable animals and catchy tunes.  It is truly the perfect formula for a winning animation for all ages to enjoy.

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Actor Of The Year: Rami Malek

Usually, I choose an up and coming movie star , but this year I will hand it to T.V. The now Emmy winner (FIRST PoC WINNER FOR BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA IN 18 YEARS(as long as I have been alive))  first made me swoon years ago in Night At The Museum , then surprised and perplexed me as Elliot Alderson and will soon gain ultimate stardom by portraying iconic Queen frontman Freddie Mercury (so damn glad the role went to a PoC). Rami is talented and successful a true trailblazer to keep an eye out on.

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Actress Of The Year: Margot Robbie

As much as I hate to admit it, the screen siren stole the screen this year most notably with her perfectly demented portrayal of Harley Quinn. This Hollywood “It girl” is more than here to stay.

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Scandal: Kim Kardashian/ Taylor Swift video feud

I do not have the time to rehash this whole entire mess and honestly I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.

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Viral Sensation: Mannequin Challenge

CAN THIS STOP ALREADY, I AM TIRED. YOU HEARD ME, STAND STILL AND JUST DONT MOVE EVER OKAY LIKE EVER. STOP.

Joke Of The Year: Donald Trump being elected President Of The “Free World”

Oh, how I wish this was a real joke but as seen, clowns are running around ruining lives and this is no exception. My mind hasn’t fully grasped the concept of American idiocy. This is quite possibly the most 2016 thing to ever happen, only time will tell what the ominous future holds.

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GREAT LOSSES: WHO WASN’T TAKEN FROM US THIS YEAR???

R.I.P ALWAYS

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Alright, I give up I am going to gloss up my lips with my non-existent Kylie Lip Kit, throw some shade, take some L’s , dab away the sadness and try to pick up the shard remnants of my life in 2016. I hope it treated you better than it did the world.

Take a break from the toxic

The way things have been going in 2016 and my increasing lack of faith in the internet , today I want to say thank you to people from the internet who have enriched my life.

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My predominant social media of choice would be the ever evolving home to 140 characters , why Twitter of course. Around mid 2013 an habit or more so an addiction developed to sharing my arbitrary and pointless thoughts which probably did include what I had for breakfast that morning . Slowly but surely I kept my momentum going and added my jokes that no one would laugh at irl and the followers trickled in. By grade 11(2014) people at school used to talk about how  I never stopped tweeting or how many retweets I had on a certain thing and it all felt eerie but then cue the wonderful people that are my mutuals, who made me throw caution to the wind and forget every stranger danger lecture I’ve ever gotten.

Vivacious pun-makers , sarcastic fangirls , religious reminders , social justice warriors , you name it and they probably found their way into my heart. With every little part of my soul i shared , I gained a part of another’s soul , every character you decided to perfectly curate (typo or not) has taught me something or made me a better person.

 

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It’s never always sunshine and unicorns in life and the same applies to the tl but I am not here to focus on the negative ( for once) . Some nights I could be bored out my mind , sitting in the dark scrolling away my life and then my thirst could be quenched by double thick milkshakes , exposing catfish and viral opinion games and my night could be so aptly deemed ‘lit’ , however not by regular teenager standards.

The best part for me has been watching people grow and prosper in their respective fields .Casey the model , Juwie the artist , poet (and pretty much everything else) , Haaj the shipper , Tara the youtuber , Gabi the photographer, Suvania (my sunshine) the soon to be published writer and so many many others. Sometimes I mention these names irl and much to the confusion of those around me , but on the tl it’s a quaint little community with a wealth of knowledge and with people from vastly different backgrounds.

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My loyal followers (some more than others) have helped me through some of the hardest times in my life , become my best friends  and have given me whatsapp groups galore, confidence and tremendous amounts of support. Sharing my life with people some within my country , km away and some across oceans have unlocked opportunities I could never dream of. It’s rather ironic how I am willing to share to the void that is the internet , instead of to the people I see on a daily basis but satisfying nevertheless.

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So to end of thank you for the kind words , constructive  criticism , terribly grand puns, riveting book discussions, stunning photosets , answering my questions on shampoo and most importantly giving me a space where I fit. I pray for each and every one of you to succeed and I hope to meet more of you (sans awkwardness). Also , I apologise for all the mushiness and or cheesiness , let it slide just this once and you better not be fake.

 

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Hello, it’s me.

Yes , it is still I, your loyal but not so present elfling just with a new look . It just seemed time for a change what with my impending existential crisis soon to follow. This new me comes with a few announcements and proclamations too.

I am no longer 15 years old , what a surprise I know . No longer filled with high school woes or an eagerness to blog , and I also drink green tea(caffeine is caffeine) now and care about makeup ( OH THE HORROR- that is no longer my face). The younger me would be so appalled at the current state of this blog and my life, I am pretty sure she would be drafting a post already. I have let this seep into the crevices , ignored and only there when I have a rare surge of energy and enough is enough.

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I think I applied this to my blog instead

This blog demands my attention. I am more confused than I have ever been and I probably need one of those years off to go find myself in Europe but unfortunately I am both broke and not white , instead I have my words , a source of solace and contentment that I now intend to make full use of. Be prepared for a flurry of thoughts , reviews and those fun posts too ( a shrine to my former work).

A promise to myself and to my readers if any , is to post biweekly and if not I hope to be expelled to the deepest , darkest parts of the internet for my most deceitful betrayal. Lastly , it feels good to be filled with a need to write again and I hope it makes me feel better in this weird and messy part of my life ( oh , look, positivity , that’s new) and thank you to Juwie for the exceptional artwork , it was definitely the push I needed. Your loyal elfling is here to stay, Insha Allah.

 

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This is ever so cheesy and yet is all I ever want to say

 

#goals

why hello there internet

On Monday , which seems like eons ago , I set a goal for myself and that was to get off my butt and actually post something on my blog that I have so carelessly neglected , but alas things kept on getting in the way. However the point of my tale is not to bore you , but to bring to light the concept of goals and how frivolously teenagers seem to throw them out on the internet. Perhaps this might clear up things for you a little more.

If I were every teenager girl on the internet my goals would be as such: (most of these things are pretty damn great)

#eyebrowgoals : Cara Delavigne

#husbandgoals : Ryan Reynolds

#familygoals: The Beckhams

#bodygoalsjustafterhavingababy : Kate Middleton

#everythinggoals : Blake Lively

#babygoals : Prince George

The internet lingo and fads seem to be evolving at a rate and even I , a child of the internet cannot seem to keep up but fear not I am very much still an expert on such matters.

Teenagers and young adults alike are becoming obsessed with worshiping others for rather pointless things .Normal goals would usually revolve around strivng towards an A on a test. I am all for goals , as long as they are realistic , for instance during my regular internet prowls , I saw tweet with pictures of Kourtney and Scott with #relationshipgoals and I couldn’t be more dissapointed with the world because firstly that family is next level stupid (not that they don’t make for great entertainment) but he is a constant partier and alcoholic but hey he makes cute babies so that makes everything okay ? Now if you want #relationshipgoals look to your bickering grandparents who have been together for 50+ years , that is what you should aspire to.

I believe that commenting #goals on a persons picture or tweet is more of a polite way of saying ” I am really jealous and kind of what your life”  but at the same time I understand that is just a fad and will probably die down.

What I really want is for people to take goals seriously and make them attainable , so teenagers of the world  I advise you to take a step back from the social media madness and evaluate what really matters to you and then after that procrastinate attaining those goals as much as you want ( I can only ask  for so much of you)

A social life

Ever so often my holiday pops around and after the disastrous tragedy that was the first term , let’s just say it was long over due , granted it will only last a week ( and a few public holidays a little later). I intend to make the most of this week and by that of course I mean vegetate , as usual.

I have absolutely no social life and sometimes being alone is the best and worst feeling ever. I switch my phone off and ignore my adoring fans for a few hours , take out my one and only laptop and scour the internet .Recently I have entered the realm of the 7 kingdoms and yes I mean Game of Thrones ( don’t judge me…Gendry though) I actually like it and get your mind out off the gutter not the parts you think. It is downright addictive and I go through this constant dilemma of :

Hibernation is key to avoiding people and in the off chance when I am dragged out to face the sunlight my thoughts are with my other family on the internet , especially this little blogger community . People in person have too much room to upset you and well to put it bluntly they suck

Sometimes after hours of being shut up and void off light I experience various epiphanies , the main one being what if I had a social life ? and met new people and went out like they do in Tv series and movies , maybe just maybe a romantic entanglement isn’t so far off and then I remember that there are a billion other people just like me and hopefully god has a plan for me.

I do however have a few social engagements of the calendar , I attended a party with fairy lights and lanterns and it was all very fairytale-esqe and I have sleepover where we intend to watch Shakespeare movies all night ( with good reason I assure you) oh and the cherry on top the cake : I am going to school in my holidays .. yeah the universe is laughing at me I know it.

Picture of the party:

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