The anti-lifestyle blog

Blogging culture in recent years has exploded, every second person on Instagram reviews makeup or cafes and is doing an elaborate giveaway with an up and coming brand. I am proud of their success and at times, yes, a little envious,  because I too would like to enjoy the fruits of free stuff- I am Indian after all. I have, however, resided myself to the fact, that I will never be able to maintain such a facade. A self-proclaimed hermit studying tirelessly- in between binging new series and not living my best life. My life is too mundane to grace your feeds with that perfectly timed aesthetic coffee shot(You know, the one where you had to rearrange the sugar bowl and ask your friend to move their hand out of the shot). If you want to know my days usually go, well, you are in for a wild, thrilling and utterly boring ride.

7-8 AM- usually get out of bed, scroll through social media for a good few minutes. Breakfast is toast and butter or on the days when I’m watching my chiseled physique- special K, otherwise known as flavoured cardboard.

How to get my look: own a pair or jeans, loose culottes or tights and pair it with a collared shirt(the ones that were in like 3 years ago) or if you are at home- comfy sweats and literally any t-shirt with an ironic/ quirky saying. Sometimes a fangirl shirt- where maybe 5 people compliment you and the rest stare in bemusement.

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On my way to campus: It’s time for me to send my daily scheduled “I hate my life, I’d like this day to end” snapchat(with the latest adorable filter) to my many adoring fans( A.K.A my friends who have no choice but to entertain my whims). Sometimes, I throw in a ridiculous pun or two

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9-12: I try my hardest not to fall asleep in lectures and ask myself at least three times, why I pay half a home loan to have people read slides to me in a monotonous, monotone voice. On days off, I am probably on my fifth episode of the day and or still asleep.

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1-2: Ahh lunch, last night’s leftovers, a cheese sandwich or savouries, Mighty appetizing, totally worth the gram.

Late afternoon: I get home, seek out my cat who runs away from me and has more of a social life and then proceed to nap away my misery.

Evening: the overwhelming existential crisis strikes, I contemplate dropping out of uni and marrying a rich old billionaire or getting off my ass and starting to study for my test or doing the tut I am itching to skip.

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Supper: Depends on my mother’s mood and level of “today I want to outdo all the other mothers and try a new kitchen queen’s recipe” or here have toasted cheese.

The hours before I drift into nothingness: scroll, scroll, hahaha funny meme, sends to/tags friend. More memes, tweet something no one else finds funny or cares about, scroll, scroll, existential crisis part 2 because I read about Trump’s presidency or literally anything in the news, shade someone, scroll, scroll.

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PEACEFUL SLUMBER: dreams of meeting my favourite South Asian actors and or an irrelevant twitter crush.

So there you have it, friends. My hauls include hauling myself out of bed, a review of that person I tried not to make eye contact with and products used: the most important of all and highly coveted: WILL TO LIVE.

Disclaimer: while this is, in fact, how most of my days end up, I love fashion, makeup and trying out cute cafes- I just do it far less often than I would like. 

 

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The woes of being a blogger

Hello there internet( I don’t know why I address you as a whole , well thank Dan Howell)

I am not sure if you noticed or well cared but I have pretty much been MIA in terms of my blog and it’s lately I feel like I am losing  my touch with being able to write and exercise my mind , and that it will all eventually turn into a pile of mush from all the series watching and twitter scrolling ( I know , healthy life , healthy mind).

When I first started this blog , well I was measles ridden and shoved in solitary confinement and so I decided to bless the world with my lovely and irrelevant opinions on pretty much anything ,sigh I miss the eagerness of 15 year old me . So young and so full of ideas and motivation . Fast forward a few years to newly 18 , first year university student me and I am a complete and total creativity barren wasteland. So , using a lovely suggestion from my friend , I have decided to chronicle the desperately overdramtised woes of being a blogger ( in whatever order they pop into my head)

1.Everyone automatically assumes you blog about fashion

Don’t get me wrong , I admire fashion bloggers and their unique or sometimes generic senses of style and need to help those supposedly fashionably challenged and sometimes I do read these blogs , however my blog is about whatever the heck I want it to be about and I don’t want it to be specifically categorized or grouped , I feel like it just projects a negative image of blogging in general and just removes the idea of it being a personally expressive platform and even if you are a fashion or beauty blogger you keep doing you and I will continue to piggyback on your opinions , so thank you for your contribution to the bloggesphere (idk is this a word).

2.Writing slumps

The ever dreaded enemy to all bloggers and writers alike . Sometimes you just get sucked into this void , you can’t bring yourself to formulate ideas worthy of posting and you let procrastination get to you , having just experienced this I can tell you how detrimental it can be to your blog and your confidence in your writing . Pretty sure I went through the 5 stages of grief with this one.

3. HATERS GONNA HATE

Sadly , like most things on the internet the hate grows and follows you around .People have different views and opinions on things which is completely okay but some prefer to be a bit more vocal about it and sure feelings can get hurt , so the resident haters out there while you do fuel some people be mindful about feelings (wait why am I addressing haters pssst it’s not like I have any of those)

4. What will my readers think?

When you choose to share your thoughts on a global scale , it can be very tricky . I sometimes wonder about how people will react to what I have to say instead of being a completely unfiltered version of myself. Naturally , most bloggers are subjective or biased and your reader won’t always be happy with what you have to say.

5.How much of my life am I willing to share ?

Ahh , the age old tale of stranger danger on the internet still looms (weird because I seem to forget this when I interact with twitter mutuals) and you have to decide what is okay to share and what isn’t. Be reasonable and not broadcast your address because that is essentially inviting some creep to stalk you but this also concerns feelings and life details . Often it is easier for us to trust complete strangers with our problems mostly due to the safety of the degree of anonymity you have when hiding behind a keyboard.

6. WHY NOT JUST BE A VLOGGER?

Well , not attractive or wealthy enough to maintain this.

7. Twitter threads are beginning to threaten my existence 

Personally , I enjoy doing the “types or people/things” or favourites type of posts and well these have gained immense popularity on twitter and our puny brains are more likely to pay attention to things in small doses rather than long winded posts and with the option of a retweet they tend to reach larger audiences hence making a greater impact. However , hopefully I will always still be here typing to no one at all just to give myself some peace of mind.

8.Not becoming rich and famous anytime soon 

When I started this blog I of course had every intention of making this the sole supporter of my existence once I reached ultimate stardom , well no not really but wouldn’t that be nice?

9. TYPOS/TYPOES(idk)

These unsuspecting buggers creep up on you and ruin your life so much so that you end up writing poetry about them in my case

10. Not generically recycling content

Finding your voice can be incredibly difficult and time consuming . You don’t want to be one of those blogs who just churns out unoriginal pieces that have been seen before , you want to stand out and be unique but this is easier said than done (what a cliche I know , leave me be)

Well , at this very moment this is all I can think off as I avoid all my responsibilities like my upcoming tests . If you are indeed a blogger please comment down below about your personal woes and let us hope I try to post weekly in the near future more so for myself than anyone else and to my readers (if I have any) , go easy on us bloggers ,we are fragile tortured souls just trying to find the perfect pair of skinny jeans to review for you ( I KID , I KID).

 

 

All that accompanied my Matric Dance

After copious amounts of begging , pleading and of course a little manipulation , my parents finally caved in an agreed to let me attend my Matric dance . The anticipation built up over the weeks but I didn’t really feel the excitement until I was  ready to walk down that red carpet , fake eyelashes and all.

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It was held at the ICC (fancy place in my city) and I am in no way exaggerating when I say the class of 2015 has never looked more beautiful. The theme was a masquerade which is  overdone but extroidnary nevertheless and sure the flashy lights and sparkly dresses were somewhat epilepsy inducing but I wouldn’t have it any other way. There was large table filled with my favourite people but perhaps it was too large because having a coherent conversation across table décor became rather impossible.

There were of course some well deserved awards handed out ( none to me .. pssht I am not bitter ) . The dance floor opened with a performance by the schools leaders and yes after that I actually danced much to my own surprise , blame peer pressure. The music was rather ghetto with a few good songs intertwined. My feet are still numb no thanks to my heels which I did remove for brief instances but my midget state was not doing me any favours.

The night was filled with spontaneous photo bombs with my friend’s rather gargantuan date( I still want that pocket watch) , even bigger lines to take more pictures, maybe a little forced slow dancing(not for me I assure you) and a punch or two ( this may or may not be true).

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The big star of the night was a beautiful , foodgasmic brownie accompanied by vanilla ice cream , I mean does it get any better?

Now it has all simmered down to nothingness and I woke up looking like a raccoon .Matric dance 2015 you will always live on in my memory and countless pictures.

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Oscars , Oscars everywhere

Most of you would think I am referring to the Academy awards which took place last week , and you would be right  on one account . I am also referring to the much buzzed about Oscar Pistorius trial . The second one hits closer to home as I am South African , but to start off on a lighter note I will discuss the actual Oscars a bit , granted I am delayed.

THE ACADEMY AWARDS

Firstly why the hell didn’t Leo win an Oscar yet ? He is a brilliant actor and truly deserves that form of recognition , at least I had Ellen and her ludicrous antics to cushion my blow . Honestly I haven’t seen a better host with her constant mentions of J-Law’s falls( both last year and this) , add that with a selfie with the coolest people ever and to top it all off : PIZZA. Who said being a pizza delivery guy would get you no where ? I would really like to be that guy!

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In terms of fashion there was nothing too amazing but no one made me cringe as much as they usually would . I loved the dresses worn by Lupita ( big winner) , Angelina Jolie, Emma Watson and mainly Gulliana Rancic.

The oscar

All in all it was enjoyable and a lot of the winners truly deserved it ( but LEO :'()

OSCAR PISTORIUS

Okay I get it , this is rather a controversial topic. The Olympic blade runner turned girlfriend murderer? If you don’t know about this , too bad I am not explaining the whole debacle  and google exits. But these are just a few of my opinions on the case:

  • why is it being televised ?  I find that to be inconsiderate , insensitive to Reeva’s family and Oscar himself , give them some room . The tabloids and the media are turning it into a soapie , rather than the administration of justice
  • He is guilty , there’s no two ways about it , technically he even admitted it
  • I don’t believe it was premeditated but rather a crime of passion , committed out of rage
  • why are there over a 100 witnesses ? I think people just want a chance to be on tv
  • can the Americans hurry up with that forensic evidence please , give it to the guys on CSI , they’re pretty efficient
  • I love how everybody is suddenly interested in South Africa again
  • I hope Reeva’s family gains some form of closure and that everyone will shut up about the case ( including myself)

There you have it , my outlook on both Oscars , if you have any of your own opinions please leave them down in the comments.