Refresh, Refresh, Refresh.

A moment of silence is one too long, for here it is, I mourn the loss of my attention span.

You were never great, always seeking out your next great escape from the monotony of sheer existence. A click click here, a click click there, here is my perfectly curated life for all to see, everywhere.

In these last few months of deep introspection, I came to the realisation that I seek out content to be content. The never-ending cycle of likes, shares and views. I cannot help myself but tap away my sadness, to relinquish my envy and silently in the dim blue light, pretend that this is all real.

I have never felt so ungrateful, so obsessed and so dependent and as my screen time goes up, my serotonin is all but depleted. Never truly sure who is actually happy for you, and who wishes for your failure.

The solution you ask? why, that is simple, there isn’t one. The years go by, the memories stored, stories manufactured and sanity scarce. Instead, the clock tik-tok’s away and I refresh, refresh, refresh, all in attempt to Be as Real as can be, but influenced by those whom I cannot see. With that, I smile, knowing it is not I alone who is guilty.


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