Swiitch Beauty, We’ve Got Receipts  

Disclaimer: Makeup and its tools are very personal, so something that might not work for me could be a holy grail for you. Do not be offended if your favourite beauty items are included in my review.

Any South African makeup-lover knows my struggle of trying to get my hands on international makeup brands or dupes without breaking the bank. Swiitchbeauty conveniently seemed like the perfect solution to all my problems, it was an OG Instagram makeup seller. Granted the price point is not as friendly on my student budget, I found that I was able to buy items I wanted that are not sold in national stores. In total, I have purchased five brushes from them, a brush cleaning glove and an eyebrow kit. The brush glove works phenomenally and the quality has not deteriorated since purchase. I honestly wish I could say the same for the brushes.

The items I purchased:

#G31CONTOURBRUSH // CONTOURING MAKEUP BRUSH

#F80DUOFIBER // DUO FIBER FOUNDATION BRUSH

#LUXESPHERE // ULTRA-LUXE MULTIPURPOSE BRUSH

#JAPANESEBLUSHBRUSH // ARTISAN BLUSH TOOL

#BLEND8 – 8PC EYESHADOW BRUSH SET

#BROWGAMEINBOX // EYEBROW FILLING KIT

#BRUSHLOVEGLOVE // TEXTURED MAKEUP BRUSH CLEANING GLOVE

 

Specifically speaking about the “LUXESPHERE // ULTRA-LUXE MULTIPURPOSE BRUSH”, I purchased it at the Cape Town pop-up shop. A few weeks later, it broke and I tried direct messaging them to fix the problem.  At first things seemed to go well and they said they would definitely exchange my brush but then they just ignored my messages for more than a month. I had messaged them on twitter and even emailed the owner but I had gotten no replies.

broken

At some point, the account messaged me again because I tagged a friend in of their posts saying the same brushes can be found on AliExpress.

 

Overall, I would not purchase from this brand again. Reasons besides the obvious, their customer service is terrible and the quality of the products are not worth the price point.

 

Written By: Nasrin Lavangee @nasrinstop

That time I did a makeup haul- NOT CLICKBAIT

DISCLAIMER: This post is to humorously bring light to the hypocrisy and falsehoods prevalent amongst the beauty community and in a satirical manner.Personally, I would know nothing about makeup without bloggers and YouTubers and love watching their hauls, tutorials and reviews, however some are more trustworthy than others. Take this with a pinch of salt and a good laugh.

Image result for no shade no tea

*lights scented candle amongst myriads of fairy lights to set mood*

Hello my lovelies,

As you all know I am well known South-African based beauty blogger and the basis of piggybacked opinions by dozens of impressionable viewers. This  haul will features almost everything necessary for a full face of makeup and will include a variety of high-end(not available here at any reasonable price or ease) and drugstore, because we don’t discriminate based on budget- just skin colour. I reserve the right to tell you whether or not I received any of the products for free.

Image result for no shade no tea

To set the stage for the master illusion, start off with a good pore-filling primer. My holy-grail is the Benefit Pore-fessional, as it really showcases how poorly professional I can be and fills in the crevices of my facade, with the added bonus of making it last for 16 hours.

Next, we move on to Foundation, with every layer lighter than my neck, I build up a bigger, deluded fan-base. I use the L’oreal- pro matte- infallible of course, much like myself.

Concealer is possibly most important, fortunately for me I can skip the orangey-red colour corrector for dark circles because I don’t lose sleep over the lies I pedal, however a generous layer of LA girl PRO (what I like to think I am) to mask imperfections usually does the trick. But I am not sure if anyone is baked enough to take me seriously.

cover dark circles meme

Now, it is all about blending seamlessly into the crowd of typical beauty gurus, never standing out- generic. I have the choice of dabbing(original beauty blender) or swiitch(ing) it up and brushing(Real Techniques) away the haters.

You know, way back when I was one of those girls who probably bullied other girls for having thick bushy brows, but look at me now trying to emulate them, stroke by stroke thanks to Anastasia’s Brow Wiz that she didn’t even need Hogwarts to create.

no eyebrows meme

For the real deception, we focus on the eyes- the windows to the soul after all. The lies hidden in the shadows of my Tarte pallets. The glitter to dazzle and enchant. The roller lash mascara forming clumps- much like cliquey bloggers, the trusty glue to the falsies holding together my false claims and lastly the perfect winged liner using Kat Von D’s Trooper- aptly named to describe my fans.

Once all colour in my face has seemingly been lost, it is time to contour- gently carving out affiliate codes with Benefit’s Hoola Bronzer, a dash of NYX dusty rose blush- be careful not to be pricked by its thorns and lastly the glow to blind all reason- intoxicatingly luminous Champagne Pop by Becca and my dearest bestie Jaclyn Hill (I wish).

To perfectly bring this look into fruition, I’d go with a bright coral colour like beeper  from colourpop to distract you from how much time you’ve wasted reading this and to really lock it all in, I use Urban Decay All-Nighter, so the lies don’t budge.

makeup hoarding meme

That’s it for this weeks haul, please subscribe and give me those beautiful likes from your beautiful faces.

Au revoir.

 

Image result for makeup memes

 

For her.

As my head rests back on the sandstone covered stairs, I look to the vast blue skies the muse to so many romantic poets and come to the conclusion that while I am romantic, I am no poet. Collections of dust and dizziness float above me, seen through my own skewed perceptive lens(literally in my case). I try to shake the insurmountable weight on my figurative shoulders as well as the very real aching knots within. She makes me despise who I am, what I say, do, eat and every breath I take seems like an inconvenience to her gilded path. “Don’t take her seriously, you’re so rare and special, embrace your differences,” the comment that seems like a slap in my face and feelings. I’m allowed to feel even too much the way I do, swallow back the tears and cuddle the tiger looking cat. I am entitled to drift like the white clouds in and out of my sad state or consider never going back in, but only I believe this- and far too deep down inside. So I sigh a real sigh and and lift the heavy expanse of my body and soul further into my thoughts.