My reaction to Star Wars : Episode 4 (1977)

I can hear the flurry of scorn and insults thrown at me ” YOU VALUE POP CULTURE AND YET YOU HAVE NEVER WATCHED STAR WARS” . Unfortunately being born in 1998 means I missed the whole buzz and my parents were never really bring on the franchise , so it slipped out of my narrow grasp. Sure , I know the most famous spoilers that shook the very beings of its time , but really I had no deep burning desire to delve further into this universe . That is until , 2015 happened and a new movie would be released to mass critical praise and audience appeal . Was I going to let myself sit on the sidelines as it dominated all areas of pop culture ? No , I simply could not. So , today after multiple days of procrastination , I finally watched the first movie and these are my internal monologue of thoughts throughout

• in a galaxy far far away – cool , cool iconic stuff
• why is the information slanted how am I supposed to read this ?
• the effects are surprisingly good for its time
• storm troopers look like the peacekeepers from The Hunger Games (so technically peacekeepers are the rip-offs)
• WHY DOES DARTH VADER BREATH SO HEAVILY
• Princess Leia was rocking those buns way before Miley , they remind me of cinnabon , so I am going to call them cinnabuns
• I see so much of myself in C-3PO , the skeptic nature and anxiety
• “we seem to be made to suffer. It’s out lot in life” – preach C-3PO , preach
• okay the things that kidnapped R2-D2 look like pre-schoolers in robes and sound a lot like the minions – like scarily alike
• I ship the bromance between R2 and C-3PO
• so people and aliens ride tame dinosaurs here? cool
• is that an igloo on a barren planet ?
• LUKE !! – POP CULTURE TINGLES GO INTO A FRENZY
• so the droids are sold into slavery ? this seems like droid trafficking to me.
• also , Luke stop finding your sister pretty (yes , another great spoiler)
• WHO IS THIS OBI-WAN KENOBI?
• all this talk about Luke’s dad and I want to yell “LUKE , I AM YOUR FATHER” . The greatest spoiler known to man
• Luke stares into the sunset with that whole hero mindset vibe
• okay so this old guy that saves Luke is obviously Obi
• how right was I
• LIGHTSABERS ARE SO FREAKING COOL
• Talking about how dead Luke’s father is and I can’t help but snicker
• Is the empire a metaphor for something ? corporations , commercialism , government  corruption?
• the guy next to Vader has now been nicknamed general cheekbones
• OH POOR LUKE ,I SEE SKELETONS
• ‘These aren’t the droids you’re looking for’ – again I have heard this before , nice to finally place it into context
• the force feels like when a vampire compels someone
• the whole bar scene feels like someone smoked marijuana and is currently hallucinating
• CHEWBACCA
• jazz aliens – retro
• INDIANA JON- I MEAN-HARRIS- HAN SOLO , I MEAN HAN SOLO
• did he just kill something and no one around cares? Casual
• is jabba like an intergalactic mob boss? He looks like an overgrown slug
•  Han just called Jabba a wonderful “human being” , I went back to check if I heard correctly , I did , wtf?
• laser beams ,drama , luke being whiny
• poof , there goes a whole planet I had no attachment to
• chewy and R2 are playing space chess ? This reminds me of wizard chess
• Is believing in the force like believing in a God?
• OKAY SO SHIZ JUST WENT DOWN AND THEY ARE GOING TOWARDS VADER AND GENERAL CHEEKBONES
• wow stromtroopers did such a thorough search (sarcasm)
• Okay so Obi is going off to do Obi type things
• Luke is getting all heroic and Leia is his damsel in distress apparently
• Han gives no shits whatsoever , did I mention I really like Han
• YASS CHEWY SLAY DEM TROOPERS SLAY
• Hans answering under crisis is my favourite thing ‘ oh we’re fine so fine , how are you ‘ ‘we’re sending a troop up’ ‘oh no wait we have a gas leak’

• Darth and Obi face off to come
• GO LEIA SLAY GURL SLAY – BE YOUR OWN HERO ,YOU DON’T NEED NO MAN
• I ship Hans and Leia – cue internet yelling at me for focusing on ships and not the character’s role in the epic story , just leave me and my hopeless romantic shipper heart alone.
• so they’re in some type of sewer trash type place and ANACONDA IS THAT YOU?
• LUKE , WHERE YOU AT BOY?
• C-3PO  is my spirit animal
• ” big walking carpet”- 1000 crying laughter face emojis
• obi walks around with no disguise and no one questions him or notices? Normal , very normal.
• laser beam here , laser beam there , laser beam everywhere.
• some boderline incestual contact there with the siblings
• okay confrontation , lightsabers at the ready
• * 2 minutes later* – still fighting no actual winner
• WHERE YOU AT OBI?
• side note : Leia was in a trash shoot why is her dress so pristine and white still? Does space have non-stain fabric because I could use that
• ALL A PLOY – PLOT TWIST
• Leia is a smarticle
• boring stuff …
• Obi speaks from beyond
• plane stuff .. boring .. boring..
• DARTH VADER TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
• ACTION , MORE ACTION
• HAN CAME BACK YO
• R2 YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS
• Luke being all heroic – naturally
• chewy deserves a medal of valour too
• HAPPY ENDING ???
• I’M CONFUSE

To round up , I geniunely enjoyed watching this movie and saw myself in C-3PO . I fangirled plenty over Han and Leia’s witty banter and the general whimsical and highly original nature of the tale , you can see the tremendous hard-work and love poured into this work of art. I will further venture into this franchise and be proud that I can finally understand all the jokes and references . I hope you enjoyed my terrible monologue