Thoughts keep floating around in my head , constantly changing at a rapid rate , even I can’t keep up or figure out where they are going. So instead of usually blogging about something silly and often for entertainment purposes , tonight due the constant influx of change and choices into my life , I sat down with a bowl of popcorn , iced coffee and of course a movie for some gold old me time.
Choosing a movie to suit your mood can be a particularly straining task when you have pretty much watched everything worth watching ( a fact of which my mother isn’t too pleased about). It happens to be no secret that I am complete sad sap ready to gobble up some consumer based romantic movie delusions , and so the I went way back to the 80’s and settled on ‘Say anything’ starring John Cusack and some random no one really knows about today. The extent of my knowledge on the movie was all from ‘Easy A’ so basically romantic guy with a boombox outside a girl’s window.
I went in expecting the same clichéd romance and I did get that but also a surprising feeling of relatablity ( is that even a word?) . I didn’t identify with romance because I have about as much experience as 12 year old boy , perhaps even he has more , but rather the whole idea of teen angst and the choices faced as teenagers , the ‘F’ word , THE FUTURE. Before delving into my mess of thoughts but why don’t they make movies like the 80’s anymore? that and i totally have the right hair for that decade.
Change came in the form of leadership and accomplishment. On the best possible note , i actually participated and reigned champion in the something of consequence. Of course with the help of an incredible team , we won a varsity college inter- school general knowledge quiz and took home R1000 each , as well as a R50000 bursary for someone of our schools choosing. In the grander scheme of thing doesn’t sound very impressive but to me , the person filled with tons of doubt it was completely unexpected and we did manage to land in a random local newspaper where i have a strange smile and my uniform looks discoloured.
Leadership had come due to the fact that the matrics have begun trails and so it must be up the next year of eager to please students, to fill their shoes. I managed to acquire the position of an HR ( basically a figure that reprimands much like a prefect) and a computer monitor , which is self explanatory. Although our school may call us leaders , a friend of mine came up with the concept that we are merely higher ranking soldiers , set out to enforce the rules and regulations for us to follow in unison. A badge or scarf does not a leader make , but rather what they plan on doing with their position for the betterment of others.
Alas school is school and politics , fan favourites begin to play their part , but what can we really do but wait for the time to pass and look forward to something better.
This can be defined as the act of looking within ones self and all it really sounds like is something depressing and deep. Sometimes you just need a break from the outside world and to just think , lately I have been bombarded with the future talk and constantly reminded that numbers printed out on a paper determine the course of my life , such comforting thoughts. The truth is I have no idea what I am going to do ,where I am going or who even cares , at the moment I am still trying to figure out why school exists or when can I drop out or why the clouds aren’t really made from candyfloss. Random and arbitrary thoughts are what I would like to keep constant.
Thus concludes my post of the exaggerated life of a teenager , I am told this the most awkward and confusing stage in my life but yet I cant help but wonder if this is only the very beginning , for now I will look out the window and see the full night sky , with a scarcity of stars and no John Cusack with a boombox professing his love.
“I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just don’t know why they have to happen at the same time. I just wish I could work out some schedule.”