What does your cereal say about you?

Ever read a magazine article with a similar title to mine but instead it talks bout horoscopes , names , shoes or other trivial nonsense? Well I felt inspired by these articles that I have never read and put my investigative skills to work. Presenting a completely biased , inaccurate , humorous view on what your cereal says about you (picture this on glossy pages)

Here goes nothing:

From : whatever magazine would publish this

Crunchy, smooth , fluid-filled or just plain . You wake up , go about your daily morning rituals , in your sleepy haze a box awaits. The box is followed by a bowl ,spoon and usually milk. By now you know I am referring to the grains that start your day , and yet these grains are simply not limited to time frame , they ,may be consumed at all hours.

What is cereal? Yes a food normally consumed at breakfast , because who has time for a gourmet breakfast and we are just plain lazy due to the lack of a butler. Naturally some like variety but I cannot commit to a cereal , so I am a cereal slut trying out new ones around every 3 months , clearly I will have issues in an actual relationship But enough about me , I tried to involve some public consensus and if you don’t know the names of the cereal because you aren’t South African then Google my friend.

COCO POPS 

Coco pops shows a strong attachment to childhood and chocolate . You are probably immature and eat this at all hours , try an adult cereal from now and then to shake things up.

CORN FLAKES

Well aren’t you plain , precise and downright ordinary or in teen speak ” omg you’re so basic” . Also you might have OCD tendencies like how many flakes are in the bowl. Try and shake things up from time to time.

SPECIAL K

Know that you are beautiful and don’t need the media to tell you to lose weight to be beautiful , so please eat something that doesn’t taste like cardboard , unless you like the cereal bars because those are amazing.

STRAWBERRY POPS AND MILO CEREAL

You think you’re hipster but you’re really mainstream , but I wont deny following trends does have its upsides.

OATS AND FRUIT

clearly a very damaged and deranged soul. WHY WOULD YOU VOLANTARILY SUBJECT YOURSELF TO OATS?

MUSELI

if you’re feeling fancy you can call this granola , but really you’re not to bad and maybe you’re a nice person living on the healthier side of life , or just pretending to.

FUTURE LIFE (MY LATEST EX CEREAL)

You probably buy into delusions and believe that this will fill you contentedly when it really lies.

AL BRAN FLAKES

Probably constipated.

Disclaimer : the views and opinions expressed above are not to be taken seriously but are a true devotion to cereal and a generalised view. Also I may or may not be eating cereal now

follow me on twitter : @faatimahE

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