Weddings or at least my version

Me at my wedding



Wedding bells chime , a bride and groom make their entrance and a whole lot of other boring things happen too. Last night I attended the wedding of my mother’s first cousin and I was from the boy’s side , but before I start explaining the details of the wedding I think it is only fair you know about my people.

I a memon and if you don’t know what that is , get up and google it , but here are some stereotypes used to spot if someone is memon

1. outrageously rich ( I am the exception)

2. long noses ( apparently)

3. misers with their money

4. they wear super, sparkly blinding clothes (ewwwww)

5. their functions NEVER start on time

Now that you know what I am it makes it a lot easier for you to perhaps relate to this post. First off my mum made my wear a dress that squished up all my insides and made it hard for me to breathe. The females starting from the age of 10 to about 70 all try to out do each other by finding the most ridiculous things to wear and coupled with make-up that looks positively caked upon their faces. I honestly would not recognise a person without all that make up , speaking of which, I endeavoured to put some myself and am embarrassed to say , I like how I looked soo much that I didn’t want to take it out.



After outfits the most outrageous thing is time wastage . In all honesty , all I wanted was the food , but for a wedding that was meant to start at 6:30 , the bride only walked in at 8. Most of the time was dedicated to boring , rehearsed and most importantly awkward speeches filled with the most clichéd humour known to man. I would however would like to meet the screaming baby down in aisle four , I think every wedding has that one child who cannot shut up. The food made it’s way to us at about 9 , but most of the teenage girls , myself included were competing with four year olds for a chance it the photo booth.


Another observation I made was the repetition of the comment ‘they look like they were made for each other’ but were they really? of course they look all dandy today , but seriously is anyone really made for the other? Is that why the divorce rate is so high? But as usual I am just being a cynic and I do wish that very very happy couple all the best.

I could not escape the wedding soon enough for old aunties to tell me how much I have grown ( because you know that doesn’t happen everyday right?) . At least being the younger sister I escaped all the questions about when my wedding would be.

So there you have a memon wedding , outrageous dresses , scary amounts of make-up , never on time bride , screaming baby and curious old ladies. My next wedding is in September , so help me god.


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