From Florence with love ( and a million dollar wall of flowers)

If by the title you are baffled , then let me explain . Today I dedicate this post to the extravagant , anticipated ‘Kimye’ Wedding. Before you unfollow me or pray for my sanity , please do understand that I have an obsession with pop culture and well ‘The Kardashian’s’ are the embodiment of 21st century pop culture and plus who doesn’t love a bit of mind damaging , pointless but downright entertaining reality TV ? I know I do , but moving on to the subject of this post , wall of flowers and all.

Untitled

 

In all honesty , despite me keeping tabs on Kim I was more shocked than ever to find out that the wedding would be taking place this past weekend , due to the fact that the ceremony on the 24th of May being a private affair ( I guess she learned her lesson after Kris) . Entertainment broadcasters were kept on their toes , like most of the world and were unsure if the venue was in Paris or Florence , but alas Florence it was and boy was it a good choice.

Kim dazzled in a classic white mermaid-silhouette gown that featuring delicate white lace was custom-made by Givenchy Haute Couture and no one really cares what Kanye wore apart from the fact that it was a suit. There is a surprising lack of photos of the entire family together but reports say that her sisters’ were bridesmaids and they too , wore white ( isn’t the bride only supposed to wear white?) . After extensive searching I was still not able to find a picture of the little cardinal point , ooops I mean North West with her parents , clearly she didn’t want to upstage their big day.

There she is with the other Kris of course

NORTH WEST ♥ @kimkardashian | via Tumblr

All in all the wedding looked breath-taking , simply picture-esque and of course had a black and white photo booth , perhaps vintage or a symbol of their union ( okay , lame joke) but the huge question on everybody’s mind was : WHERE IN THE WORLD WAS ROB KARDASHIAN? The infamous baby bro to the bride did appear at pre-wedding festivities but was a total absentee at the actual event. WHY? is what one may ask , but hey who knows , some theories include his massive weight gain and inability to pose in pictures , knowing he would ruin them. Poor guy needs to get his act together or he might just be demoted from his Kardashian status for good, but I think this is what he would tell me:

 

♡♥

Lastly since we’re on the subject of ‘kardashians’ I think it’s only fair to bring up the little Jenner of the pack , yes KYLIE . Apparently this 16 year old , I repeat 16 , was off making out with Jaden Smith  .According to a friend of mine (a future blogger ; watch this space) we know where the next Kardashian sex tape will be coming from , I think the culprit might just have blue hair too. Seriously though , what was she fed as a child? Growth hormones?

 

Shes so perfect ❤️

 

 

Okay , I think you have had enough Kardashian news for one day , until Kim’s next wedding? ( okay no I really hope this one works out) . I should probably go start my chemistry homework now , here is a Kardashian reaction to how I feel about it:

Twitter

 

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Tick – Tock

To many I am a distraction, one to blame for all that goes wrong in their lives. I lure them in with a promise of new hope and beginnings, like a siren calls to a lost sailor at sea. Lurking in the shadows of unfinished tasks and preying on eager and young minds, I am the thief of time. I am procrastination.

My name has been uttered many a times as an excuse for your obvious lack of time management and yet I constantly accept the brunt of your failures. One does not have to feel bad about giving in. Only the best have tried to resist me and only the best have failed, miserably, I might add.

Lately after much scrutiny and unsavoury comments, from your flawed kind, I have come to see the blatant error of my ways. In my sudden moment of self-actualisation, against my better nature I have decided to bless the human race with a few tips on how to avoid me. It will not be easy, I assure you. My powers of persuasion are not to be taken lightly, but there are a few ways to evade me, so read on if you dare.

You begin by a purging from any form of technology. With the age of technology upon you, my job has become exceedingly easy. Your incessant clicking upon a dimly lit screen, may momentarily bring you joy, but it is nothing is comparison to my permanent state of euphoria. With popcorn and coke in hand, I can sit back, relax and revel in my joy, as you refresh a page, despite better judgement.

However good technology may be as a procrastination agent, you must aim to acquire peace of mind. Think about what you would like to achieve and set time limits with indications of a task’s urgency. For instance number one on my list is to make sure you do not get around to doing number one on your list, until the very last moment.

Once the first two requirements have been met, you have reached a pinnacle moment, the last and final step: acceptance. Accept the fact that you have fallen into my trap and will remain there for as long as I see fit. I lied before; I promised you a way out, to remove me like a malignant tumour from your life. The truth is, I never leave you, and I just find ways to convince you that you are where you are meant to be. As a parting gift for having succeeded in my only goal, that being to watch you forget your actual purpose, I leave you with a word of advice: never trust me for I am the thief of time. I am procrastination.

Yep all the time

Types of people during exams

It’s crunch time , exam dates loom , files become organised and all hell breaks loose. It’s that time of the year again where we must endure hours praying that osmosis occurred with our study notes or that we could all be Sheldon Cooper : EXAM TIME. It’s only half yearly exams but the concept still remains the same , among the hustle, bustle and stress their lies different types of people.

Exams 😒

THE STRESS FACTORY

This wonderful walking ball of stress , is as what the name implies :  mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances ( thank you google , can’t you write my exams for me?). So said person walks into school babbling away reciting notes that you have probably never even heard off and then they proceed to stress you out by convincing you how unprepared you are. Thus I have concluded that the stress factory type is contagious

 

 

Me reviewing for finals

THE OVERCONFIDENT OVERACHIEVER

This is probably my least favourite type , mostly because I want to be them. Walk in looking badass( if only leather jackets were school regulation) , pencils sharpened , mind focused , knowledge absorbed. Ahh this person is actually organised and have their shit together , quite unlike myself. I will never be this type , sadly although it is one to aspire too.

 

 

That's me before exams

 

 

TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL

Ahh these are almost like hippies , they ooze coolness and serenity for one of two reasons

1. they know they’re fucked anyway and have decided to embrace it

2. they are naturaly clever and wing everything and still do well ( I hate you you)

Hakuna Matata

LIAR LIAR PANTS OF FIRE

okay forgive me for the lameness of that above title , but here you are you little lying evil manipulative twit. This type comes to school pretending never to have studied only to psych you out. So on the outside they are stress factories but on the inside they are overconfident overachievers who know all their work and do better than everyone but still pretended to not know anything. GAAAAH just be real with me man ( god that sounded ghetto)

Last night...

lastly you get the type known as

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I don’t fit into a specific type but I am a combination of most of them , I start off stressing , get happy and confident when I understand something and lastly just accept that I am completely and utterly screwed.

😉

In all seriousness good luck to everybody writing exams just relax and don’t be like me and study the morning before . The worst is yet to come , I mean it’s not like if you fail you will end up working at a fast food restaurant or anything? And also stay off twitter to avoid procrastination TRUST ME.

Follow me at brokenbassline

 

 

 

Weddings or at least my version

Me at my wedding

 

 

Wedding bells chime , a bride and groom make their entrance and a whole lot of other boring things happen too. Last night I attended the wedding of my mother’s first cousin and I was from the boy’s side , but before I start explaining the details of the wedding I think it is only fair you know about my people.

I a memon and if you don’t know what that is , get up and google it , but here are some stereotypes used to spot if someone is memon

1. outrageously rich ( I am the exception)

2. long noses ( apparently)

3. misers with their money

4. they wear super, sparkly blinding clothes (ewwwww)

5. their functions NEVER start on time
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Now that you know what I am it makes it a lot easier for you to perhaps relate to this post. First off my mum made my wear a dress that squished up all my insides and made it hard for me to breathe. The females starting from the age of 10 to about 70 all try to out do each other by finding the most ridiculous things to wear and coupled with make-up that looks positively caked upon their faces. I honestly would not recognise a person without all that make up , speaking of which, I endeavoured to put some myself and am embarrassed to say , I like how I looked soo much that I didn’t want to take it out.

wedding

 

After outfits the most outrageous thing is time wastage . In all honesty , all I wanted was the food , but for a wedding that was meant to start at 6:30 , the bride only walked in at 8. Most of the time was dedicated to boring , rehearsed and most importantly awkward speeches filled with the most clichéd humour known to man. I would however would like to meet the screaming baby down in aisle four , I think every wedding has that one child who cannot shut up. The food made it’s way to us at about 9 , but most of the teenage girls , myself included were competing with four year olds for a chance it the photo booth.
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Another observation I made was the repetition of the comment ‘they look like they were made for each other’ but were they really? of course they look all dandy today , but seriously is anyone really made for the other? Is that why the divorce rate is so high? But as usual I am just being a cynic and I do wish that very very happy couple all the best.
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I could not escape the wedding soon enough for old aunties to tell me how much I have grown ( because you know that doesn’t happen everyday right?) . At least being the younger sister I escaped all the questions about when my wedding would be.

So there you have a memon wedding , outrageous dresses , scary amounts of make-up , never on time bride , screaming baby and curious old ladies. My next wedding is in September , so help me god.
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