Doubt , is defined by some weird website as : to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe. To me it is the feeling that it probably one day going to ruin my life. One of my biggest character flaws , and trust me there are many , is self doubt. I wish I could go through life without hesitation , just knowing I was on the right path and taking risks when necessary , but instead I wallow in my doubt , as I do in my pity.
Here are a few cases where doubt comes out to play:
During a test:
I have always been told to trust my gut and go with my first instinct , it is usually right .. but do I listen? No , of course not , doubt creeps into the little dark corners of my mind and I strike off my answer , write a new one , that I have thought over numerous times and in the end , my first answer was right. Times like this make me want to stand up and bang my head against the wall , repeatedly , because I obviously am not using those brain cells anyway.
with my blog:
I am probably more honest to the internet than I am to myself , so thank you internet for allowing me to create a window to my soul. The point is though , when it comes to my blog , I scrutinise every little detail. Is it just for me to vent or do I aim to please? During my dry spell of no posts , I have drafted over 10 , and all on varying topics , from people and my long weekend to boys and bras. I have however decided that although I aim to please , this was made for me , by me and if you don’t like what you see , well stop reading ( no , I am lying , come back , I love you ,DONT LEAVE ME)
practically half my life is spent pondering about the unknown and my future and if I will even have one . Whether I doubt if I did well on a maths test ( high hopes man) or if I will ever get married and leave my catlady persona behind me , doubt consumes me and keeps me from being free .
I know usually don’t go all deep in my blog posts and here I am again doubting if I should even post this , but I sincerely hope that I do not remain this basket case forever , for life has a path of its own for me , yeah I know that was completely clichéd , or was it? ( see doubt is everywhere)
P.S I DOUBT PEOPLE WILL LIKE OR READ THIS ( PROVE ME WRONG?)