How to be forever alone on Valentine’s day

No romantic date to stargaze with , or buy you chocolates or canoodle with after a fancy dinner ? Yeah me too , welcome to the forever alone club , I am the only member so have made myself head know-it-all. I think that this day with all its commercialised goodies was created simply to taunt those like me , make us miserable and wonder … what is wrong with us? And of course remind us we are indeed forever alone , but I mean there’s always cats right? In my pre-emptive strike against this suck fest of a holiday , I have designed some full proof ways to be forever alone and well not be entirely aware that you are in fact forever alone.

'-'

I know you have nothing better to do so listen up and follow carefully

STEP 1 :  Acknowledge the fact that your knight in shinning armour will not be approaching anytime soon to ask you to be his one and only valentine . Acceptance is the first line of defence in our war against valentines.

we accept.. | via Tumblr

STEP 2: Find like minded people such as myself to indulge in their company and discuss trivial matters

BFFLS<3

STEP 3: Gather the essential supplies that one needs for ultimate endurance : Nutella at the ready , pizza ordered , chocolate covered anything, some form of expensive aromatic coffee and ice cream , ice cream is a MUST .

Homer

STEP 4: Avoid romantic comedies at all costs , you know what I am talking about right ? The clichéd story of boy meets girl , boy and girl engage in heated hatred for one and other.Girl or boy meets unsuitable match , said boy and girl realise their love for one an other following some humorous turn of events and in the end after countless moments of pining boy runs to the airport to stop his one true love : GIRL. Yeah no we do not need any heartache , sure rooting for your couple may be fun but it only remind you of you evident loneliness .

Chick Flicks

STEP 5: Watch a horror movie instead because maybe just maybe you will get to see a guy scream like a little girl

Ahhh,love

STEP 6 : Tumblr stalk hot guys and remind yourself how good it feels to be single and not tied down

tumblr boy

STEP 7: Cry  because you don’t have an Augustus Waters in your life , let the those tears come gushing down and flow like the Nile River. Releasing those salty water molecules will make you feel better.

Dont cry Homero

 

STEP 8: Pray to whatever God you believe in that you have a valentine next year

 

 

 

Let's go to jannah together...

 

In all seriousness just don’t let the day get to you too much , in time you will have your own valentine to rub in the lonely and miserable girls faces or you know as I have mentioned cats my dearies , cats

 

 

Advertisements

One thought on “How to be forever alone on Valentine’s day

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s